doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
