My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
