I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just want nice things and good sex
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
