I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize