My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
