she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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