tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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