if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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