If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if only i could text you this smell
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
