Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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