Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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