apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize