were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
