Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
