Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
