yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
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It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
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Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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