Heybabeimwearingurpanties
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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