I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
