So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
