But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
