Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
