So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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