I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
my liver is dry heaving
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
