Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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