Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize