break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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