i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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