I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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