I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
