tell your sister to shave her snatch
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
