afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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