hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
