Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
