and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
