hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
