I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
