he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
