Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize