I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
