he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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