Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize