I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
