after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
