The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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