direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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