The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
