Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
