i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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