Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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