i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
