So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
