ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
