I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You were trust falling into bushes
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
