And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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