yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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