just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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