"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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