someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
