I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
