Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it's like iHOP with fire
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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