I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
