Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
