I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
