2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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