i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Randomize
