so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
this just has baby written all over it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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