You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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